Quotes from
The One Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs


Ross: You forgot fourteen states?
Monica: Nobody cares about the Dakotas.

Chandler: If you don't know them by now you will never know them, okay. That is the beauty of this game, it makes you want to kill yourself.

Monica: Hey, did you guys know that your oven doesn't work?
Joey: But the drawer full of take-out menus is okay, right?

Chandler: They are needy, they are jumpy, and you can't tell what they are thinking and that scares me a little bit.

Tag: You don't like puppies?
Chandler: Hey, you are new.

Joey: Look, Chandler, I told you, never tell anyone about this dog thing? It's like Ross not liking ice-cream.
Phoebe: You don't like ice-cream.
Ross: It's too cold!

Rachel: When a guy breaks up with his girlfriend, what is an appropriate amount of time to wait before you make a move?
Phoebe: Oh, I'd say about a month.
Monica: Really? I'd say three to four.
Joey: Half-hour.
Rachel: Interesting.
Monica: When it's your assistant, I'd say never.

Joey: If he doesn't like you, this is all a moo point.
Rachel: Huh. A moo point?
Joey: Yeah, it's like a cow's opinion, it just doesn't matter. It's moo.
Rachel: Have I been living with him for too long or did that all just make sense?

Joey: Fine, take their advice. No one ever listens to me. When the package is this pretty, no one ever cares what's inside.

Ross: Hey, what's she doing back here?
Monica: Relax, Ross, she's not made of ice-cream.

Chandler: What if it attacks me?
Joey: Chandler, it's like a big gerbil.
Chandler: And that doesn't scare you?

Ross: Okay, maybe this is so hard because there aren't fifty states. Let me tell you something, I have forty-nine states, and there are no more!

Tag: Please don't fire me for doing this.


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