Quotes from
The One in Massapequa

Phoebe: He's really great, though. He has this incredible zest for life. And he treats me like a queen... except at night when he treats me like the naughty girl I am.

Rachel: Hey, do you guys have any extra ribbon?
Chandler: Oh, yeah, sure. What do you need? We've got, uh, lace, satin, sateen, raffia, gingham, felt... and I think my testicles may be in here too.

Parker: Tell me about Massapequa. Is it steeped in Native American history?
Ross: Well, there is an Arby's in the shape of a teepee.

Jack: Why would you serve food on such a sharp stick?

Ross: Dad, what? We have to pretend we're married?
Jack: Son, I had to shave my ears for tonight. You can do this.

Chandler: Somewhere there is someone with a tranquilizer gun and a huge butterfly net looking for that man.

Ross: What are you doing?
Rachel: What? I'm not you. This may be the only wedding I ever have.

Phoebe: You know what? I am like him. I'm a sunny, positive person.
Joey: Actually, you have a little bit of an edge.
Pheobe: What's that now?

Phoebe: You don't have to put a good spin on everything.
Parker: I'm sorry, that's who I am, I'm a positive person.
Phoebe: No, I'm a positive person. You are like Santa Claus on Prozac... at Disneyland... getting laid.

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