Quotes from
The One Where Rachel Has a Baby

Rachel: What if I was the president?
Ross: Well, then we'd be in a lot of trouble. You don't know where any countries are.

Ross: Hi, I'm Ross, I'm here to ruin this magical day for you.

Phoebe: Oh, wow, three hours and still no baby. Ugh, the miracle of birth sure is a snooze-fest.

Judy: Honestly, Ross, this isn't just some girl you picked up in a bar and humped.

Chandler: Wait a minute, it's perfect! We've got a lot of time to kill and we're in a building that's full of beds.
Monica: And it's so clean!

Phoebe: Lately all the guys I meet seem really nice at first and then they turn out to be the biggest jerks.
Joey: You do attract some stinkers.

Ross: Squeeze your legs together and cover the baby's ears.

Ross: Sid, you lucky deaf bastard.

Chandler: Should we tell Rachel there's an empty private room right next door to her?
Monica: We could... or we could have sex in it.
Chandler: Let me thinks about that... while I remove my pants.
Monica: Okay, mister, fertilize me! Does that sound like Janice?
Chandler: If it's not, then there's two of them, and that would mean it's the end of the world.

Chandler: Janice, I didn't even know you were pregnant. Whose the... unwitting human whose essence you've stolen?

Rachel: Why doesn't she want to come out?
Ross: You know what I think it is? I think you made such a nice home for her over the last nine months that she just doesn't want to leave.
Rachel: Aw, look at you makin' up crap for me.

Ross: What is that?
Dr. Long: It's the baby's buttocks, she's breech.
Ross: Oh, thank God, I thought she had two heads.

Rachel: Thanks for comin' out of me.

Dr. Long: For now we'll just call her Baby Girl Green.
Rachel: Oh, no. Baby Girl Geller-Green.

Monica: Oh, I'm so glad you guys got drunk and had sex.

Ross: You already know what your kids' names are gonna be.
Chandler: You do?
Monica: Yeah, I've had them picked out since I was fourteen.
Chandler: Oh no, it's gonna be named after some snack or baked good, isn't it?

Monica: Take it.
Rachel: What?
Monica: She's clearly an Emma.
Rachel: Oh, honey, but you love that name.
Monica: Yeah, but I love you more.

Ross: Man, you see the kid on that nose?

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