Quotes from
The One With the Stripper

Chandler: You know that the two pillars of marriage are openness and honesty.
Monica: I knew givin' you that book was gonna come back and bite me in the ass.

Dr. Green: What's new with you?
Rachel: Um... I got Tivo.
Dr. Green: What's Tivo?
Phoebe: It's slang for "pregnant."

Dr. Green: Young lady, don't you sit there and tell me that my first grandchild is gonna be a bastard.

Chandler: You have to be honest with her, otherwise you may think that you're going down the same path but you're really going down different ones.
Joey: I'm gonna take that book and I'm gonna beat you to death with it.

Monica: Don't think of it as a bachelor party, think of it as a two-month anniversary present.
Ross: Sure, one year is paper but two months is lap dance.

Pheobe: I'm sorry I won't be able to make it to your imaginary wedding, but I'm really busy that day. I already have a unicorn baptism and a leprechaun barmitzvah.

Chandler: So, she's a...
Joey: Yep, that's one naked hooker.

Stu: You hired your husband a hooker?
Monica: She's a stripper.
Stu: No, she's a hooker.
Monica: Is that what they call strippers sometimes?
Stu: When they're hookers.

Joey: You do it.
Chandler: You do it.
Joey: You do it.
Chandler: All right, rock paper scissors who has to tell the whore to leave.

Rachel: He's a good kisser, isn't he?

Monica: Did you let her smoke in here?
Chandler: Her ass print is still on your grandmother's quilt. Do you really want to talk about smoking?

Chandler: Could you not narrate?

Back to episode info