Quotes from The One With the Blind Dates

Joey: All of my feeling from before are totally over, okay. And even if they weren't, when you acc walk in on a woman using a breast pump...
Ross: Yeah, that'll do it.
Joey: Wow.

Ross: I'm disappointed, but it's not like, uh, it's a divorce.
Joey: Well, actually...
Ross: No, it's not a divorce. It is NOT a divorce!

Joey: I had this date last night? Yuck. But we should probably keep it down, she's still in the bedroom.

Phoebe: Well, it's this guy I used to massage. And by massage, I mean "hold down so he wouldn't turn over and flash me."

Joey: Ah yes, the plan. Ho ho ho.
Phoebe: It's not Santa's plan.

Chandler: I'm your uncle Chandler, funny is all I have.
Monica: Okay, just so you know, I'm gonna be ovulating from tomorrow until the 6th, so don't touch yourself in the next 48 hours.
Chandler: I don't do that. *pause* I'll try to stop.

Waiter: Got stood up, huh?
Ross: Yeah. It's no big deal, it's just a blind date.
Waiter: Are you worried your date came, saw you, and left?
Ross: No!

Monica: What kind of a sick bastard wants to do it in front of a deer?

Steve: I'm kinda funny looking.

Steve: It's really fulfilling doing something you hate for no money. That's right, I have no money, I'm not funny, I live in a studio apartment – with two other guys – and I'm pretty sure I'm infertile.

Monica: What are you doing?
Chandler: Emma was doing it.

Joey: You can't have S-E-X when you're takin' care of the B-A-B-I-E!

Monica: Well, that was weird, you were loud and I was fast.

Monica: You better hope that we're preganant, 'cause one way or another we're giving a baby back to Rachel!

Joey: You two were having sex!
Monica: No, we weren't.
Joey: Don't you lie to me. I can tell by Chandler's hair. You are so lazy, can't you get on top for once?

Steve: I think I know the answer to this question, but, would you like to make love to me?
Rachel: Really, really not.
Steve: Ah, it's just as well. It doesn't work anyway.

Phoebe: Run.
Joey: Where?
Phoebe: Mexico!