Quotes from The One With the Fertility Test

Rachel: Ross is the father of my child... you know, and I want him to hook up with lots of women.

Monica: Tomorrow we're doing those fertility tests, and until then you need to keep your tadpoles in the tank.

Joey: Who says wine has to cost more than milk?

Joey: She's just so much smarter than all the other girls I've ever dated... combined.

Monica: This was fun, but I've got an invasive vaginal exam to get to.

Chandler: It is not okay that I'm aroused by this now.

Chandler: Apparently, my sperm have "low motility" and you have an "inhospitable environment."
Monica: Oh. Well, uh, what does that mean?
Chandler: It means that my guys won't get off their Barcaloungers and you have a uterus that's prepared to kill the ones that do.